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"Don't follow his directions. One moment you'll be on your way to the temple and the next, BAM! you're naked on a hill in Zakos."
This article contains outdated information about Tales of Ulvania or the upcoming game, Realm of Magyk. Jamp-20120408-154657


Alfred H. Dunken
Alfred H. Dunken
A famous sketch of Alfred while he was taking a bath


Alfred Haratsrefghikophuytiti Dunken



Date of Birth

4E 254


Hawkington, Zondo






1/2 Gnome, 1/2 Ogre



Alfred H. Dunken (sometimes abbreviated as AHD) is a very influencial Gnome-Ogre poet born 254 of the 4th Age. He was born in the forests outside the gnomish city of Hawkington. He is famous for his poems, in particular My Smelly Sock and Things that make a funny sound


Alfred Haratsrefghikophuytiti Dunken was born to Susan and Bob Dunken. He was born unexpectadely when Susan gave birth while skinny dipping in a pile of mud. Many accredit his birth as the reason of his mental illness, Dunkenia, named in his honour.


Alfred had a traumatic childhood. He was beaten from the age of 2 1/2 by his parents and his older brother, Billy, using a smelly sock. He was in diapers until the age of 17, making him the laughing stock at his posch elementary school, Hawkington Prep. He ran away from home at the age of 43 and travelled with his pet rabbit, Snookers, and went in search of an item capable of transforming him into a caterpillar.


It was on one of Alfred's frequent travels to the Castle of Quilts in Zyg that he decided to write poetry. He wrote Flowers smell pretty and featured in Realm Weekly as the fifth worst poet in the world. His rank increased to thrid, where it remains to this day, because of his poems: I need more money and my smelly sock, which is believed to based on his traumatic childhood.

In 307, Alfred wrote A lost love, a continuation of his succesful poem, my smelly sock. Alfred continued to write poems, but never released them due to his ever growing Dunkenia. This was a big mistake, however, as, in 347, his house burnt down and with it all his poems. He was quoted saying "House on fire!!! No! I like house! Poem inside! No! I like poem!" He spent the next 146 years recovering before finally making his comeback with the extremely succesful poem, Things that make a funny sound.

Useful LinksEdit

Alfred H. Dunken's Poetry

Alfred H. Dunken - A Biography